A Yogi's rant

Is that an oxymoron? Yes of course it is. Yogi's are peaceful and lovely people, and I really do consider myself a yogi. I try to find my center and be kind to all, even though people do drive me crazy and yes I would love to pop them in the noggin but I always try to breath through who or what is bothering me. It doesn't always work but I sure as hell try. My practice always works better when I am actually doing yoga because when I do yoga I am so damn wiped out that I don't have the energy to get angry.

I am a huge supporter of Runyon Canyon yoga and have been going to the bottom of the Hollywood Hills to practice yoga on and off for over 8 years now. I think the teachers are amazing and they have saved my life over and over with their wonderful teaching. Just the fact that we get to do yoga outside in a beautiful park smack dab in the middle of this huge city is a gift in itself. Doing yoga outside, you get used to distractions- there are dogs barking as they walk by, (For those of you who don't know about Runyon Canyon it is big beautiful park where you can walk the mountain and let your dogs be leash free, the area that we do yoga is fenced off to the dogs but the trail goes around it on both sides) there are people walking by on their cell phones talking to their agents loudly, there are gaggles of girls walking in pairs talking about sex, I mean you name it- we hear it in the park while we are doing yoga. But within those fenced in walls we are peaceful and quiet in our practice, sure the teacher is instructing, but the students are focused on their breath and well... just trying to hold a pose without screaming. It is all about finding your center and tuning out the distractions of the world and going inside yourself in some form of meditation. It is wonderful and difficult and hilarious at times but just as in life, the ground is un-even so it takes even more practice to find peace and balance.

Ok, so I have a confession to make- I have been cheating. I moved to Burbank and trying to get to the hill in Hollywood has been a bit tougher for me since yes- the baby. But when I do not do yoga I become unhappy and squishy so my sweet husband said- 'just find a yoga studio near us'. Well I did, and it feels really good to get back into the whole habit of yoga, although I do miss the Hill and my regular teachers- I know I will go back, it is just a temporary cheat.

So what is my rant? Talking. Talking is my rant. Who the hell talks the entire yoga class? Movies, Holiday stuff, kids, you name it- they talked about it. During class. I almost shushed them but most of it came from the teacher so I shut my mouth and breathed deep and smiled. I imagined a dog barking. I imagined raucous laughter. I imagined QUIET. Mind you, the class still kicked my ass and tomorrow I will be sore for sure, but the peaceful and fuzzy feeling that I always get from doing a yoga class did not come home with me today. Hence the rant, and I do feel better. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest, oh and by the way- the movie 'The Black Swan' isn't that good... I did not see it, so this is not my opinion, I am just passing along what I learned in class today- that and I have Mommy wrists, but I will save that one for another day. ;)

Babies and Rock n Roll don't mix

Yeah I know, some may argue the fact... and before yesterday I would have been the president of the club. First off, I would like to say that we have raised our son with music constantly saturating his tiny sweet soul. We play guitar, piano, sing our hearts out or have Pandora streaming in the background spinning a mix of Bowie, Stones, T-Rex, Lennon, The Velvet Underground, Fleetwood Mac, Pretenders, Petty, to Mozart, Debussy... I mean we even play jazz we love music so damn much. He has taken an interest in playing the piano and loves to sit on Mommies lap and bang around on the keys and he has even begun to sing with us as we practice our songs- and it is pretty much the cutest thing you have ever heard.
Now all this aside, what happened yesterday was a not cute at all. Wall of Tom had a last minute show and since we didn't have a babysitter we thought, oh it's a day show- we can just bring him and he will love it! I had visions of him watching Mommy and Daddy on stage smiling and cooing, even the flitting thought that he could come on stage with us and fall asleep in my arms like he has so many times before as we practice at home. I am delusional. When we arrived at the venue he was asleep and so we just plopped him in his stroller and wheeled him in back stage. Easy. Set up all our gear, greeted the bookers, grabbed some water, shook a few hands. Easy. When it was time for us to start the booker of the event had sweetly said she would watch the baby while we played- being a Mommy to be she is about 5 months pregnant and said she needs the practice, we say 'Perfect'. Easy. The show begins, it is a really nice turnout for the Holiday Market and we are totally enjoying ourselves since it is our first show back on stage after having the baby.
Of course always a Mommy, my eyes are touching back to my sleeping child in the stroller being wheeled through the crowd happily by the sweet Mommy to be. So Easy. About three quarters through the set I notice that the blanket covering the stroller was now up and my heart skips a beat. Uhhh Ohh, he is awake. As I sing I watch in horror as the lovely people begin to peek into the stroller and smile at such a cute little baby... I notice my sons head moving left and right and then as my stomach falls as I belt out the next verse, the sweet Mommy to be reaches in to comfort the clearly upset child and cradle him in her arms.
I am sweating now not from the lights but from the feeling of vomit that is slowly easing up my throat as my child's face turns the color of purple and he lets out the most blood curdling scream that can be heard well above the music. Tony and I look at each other on stage and I think to myself- 'just give him to me, it will be fine- he just needs to see Mommy with all of those strange faces around him'... still delusional and in the middle of a crescendo. I motion for the sweet Mommy to be (who has got to be questioning the whole Mommy thing at about that time) to just hand me my boy. The song is almost over and as I reach down for him, he leaps to my awaiting arms and is quiet for the rest of the song sitting on my hip and staring into my face. Awwwww so sweet he is.
The song ends and the crowd begins to cheer, not just for the music but for the beautiful sight of a sweet baby on stage with his musical parents. At the sound of applause my sweet little boy turns his face to the crowd, sucks in his breath, bulges out his eyes in utter shock and opens his mouth to shriek in a key louder than I have ever experienced in any Aerosmith concert. Yep. That just happened. As I ran off stage left, Tony closed the show with two songs he could sing by himself and I was alone backstage with a inconsolable child.
So what did we learn today? Other than that I am a delusional musical Mother? I learned that babies should not go to live shows until they understand what it is, and they should not be on stage unless they want to be on stage. Also never to leave a sleeping child with a roomful of strangers, and that when you finally become a Mommy- it does not matter what you are doing, saving the world or singing on stage- you are forever changed and tuned in to one and only one radio station that is your child for the rest of your life. I just hope I have not ruined my child forever and now he wants to be a banker or something... actually, a banker would not be bad.

Last Minute Show

Well here you go. This is how things work out. Tony and I had just been talking about getting out there and playing some shows again. You know put on some shiny clothes, ones that don't have drool or vomit or maybe a bit of poo on them, and get our butts back up on stage in the New Year... So today isn't 2011, and yes the baby will be with us since it is a holiday affair during the day, but we will be shiny with maybe just a touch of drool. If you live in Los Angeles come on out today to the Holiday Market that is put on by Fire Groove and the Runyon Canyon Yogis. It will have lots of local vendors, music, food and fun! Wall of Tom goes on at 4:45 with Tony and I doing a fun acoustic set. It is being held at the Hollywood Woman's Center on the corner of Franklin Ave and La Brea, and it starts at 2pm! See you there!!!

The first Page

Well it has started. The first page is done. I was waiting to finish the edits on the first novel in the series but I just couldn't wait any longer. Let me tell you something about myself. I hate stagnation. If I stand too long in one place I will go mad for sure. I love to move forward. I love movement all together. When I am in the middle of something I am at my happiest. The end is agonizing, the beginning bliss. So there lies the conundrum- should I wait to start the next book in a series until all the T's have been crossed and all the commas are in the right place of the first book... I think No. That can be done and will be done by my sweet loving editor, and I will make the changes necessary to fix what needs to be fixed but I had to move on. There is just too much to tell and my characters need to breath again, so yes the second book is under way and now I cannot stop it. I didn't really know how I wanted it to begin but that is the most wonderful thing about telling a story that wants to be told, it just happens. Of course I have an outline, I have ideas and notes of things that have to be included, but once that blank page is in front of you, it is only then that your heart takes over your hands, that the magic of creation can truly begin. So here I am in bliss once again as the story unfolds...

Motherhood

Could there be too many kisses I place upon your sweet face?
Would it wake you as I hold you in a loving embrace?
I cannot control my lips when they meet your soft new skin...
They just keep raining down upon you again and again.
You don't seem to mind as you lie in a peaceful slumber...
only to smile once in awhile as my lips brush yours.
Some will say I spoil you, the horror it must be true.
But I cannot seem to stop myself, so I wont, here is another kiss just for you.

Who needs Turkey?

I have never been so happy to be a vegetarian than on Thanksgiving. Everyone seems to base this wonderful glutinous holiday around carving a corpse. I really cannot preach to anyone, I have only been a veg for 5 years now but it has made such a wonderful difference in my life. I finally feel like I am becoming the person I always wished I would be, and growing up on the Oregon coast with a hunter/fisherman enthusiast as a father- I had the steaks stacked against me. When I told my father I was going to become a vegetarian he scowled at me and said "You have been on the sidewalk for too long". Sure, everyone I know back home eats meat and posts photos of their yearly kill lovingly on their facebook page. I get it, I totally understand- and really there is nothing right or wrong about it, but I have made the decision not to do it and that makes me happy.
Believe me, we eat good on Thanksgiving- my husband is passed out cold in a food coma on the sofa as I type this sentence but we didn't harm any animals doing it. I am sure I will piss off a few people with this blog post but fuck it, it is my blog and if you don't like it, don't read it. So anyways I didn't really have a reason for this post I just wanted to actually give my kudos to the product 'Tofurkey', who have made an exceptional product and I cannot believe how tasty and delicious it is... I just started typing and well that is what came out. ;)

A Long Long Time

Yes well it has been a long long time since I have written. Why? Well there were many reasons but for the most part of it "Life Happened". I got engaged, planned a wedding, got married and went on a honeymoon, got pregnant on the honeymoon, moved into a house, had a baby boy, had a minor breakdown from lack of sleep, wrote a novel, and well I think that is it.
Since I have been an artist for most of my life this whole 'Mommy' thing has been a new bag of chips for me and has taken some time to get used to. Yes I still write songs, not as often as I used to, but if anyone out there is an artist you know that it comes and goes like the tide ebbs and flows- it is nothing to worry about when it is not 'flowing', it always comes back. Yes I still sing, actually I think I sing now more than I ever did, although the songs may not be up to Wall of Tom standards but my sweet little boy sure loves them. Tony and I play all the time but instead of playing to a crowd it is for an exuberant audience of one. Our son is immersed in music and he seems to love it, we are just waiting for the day when he joins in, and if his squeals of delight are any indication of his vocal range, we have a future front man on our hands.
I did take the down time of pregnancy to write the novel that I have had in my mind for over 10 years but never had the time to write it since I was so engrossed in being a singer in a band. There was always something else I should have been doing. Booking shows, calling promoters, rehearsals, creating fliers, shmooooozing, writing songs, updating every web page to promote the band, playing gigs, shmoooooozing, sending out press releases, photo shoots, and so much more it makes me begin to hyperventilate.
The book was not finished before the baby was born so I think I typed at least half of it one handed while I cradled the baby in the other arm while bouncing on an exercise ball. Seriously.
Now that the book is done I have begun the tedious editing process and have a few people helping so once that is done then the real work begins in finding a literary agent and then a publisher. Such fun. I am always better at creating the art than doing the business that surrounds it, but I know this is the curse of so many artist.
Ok so now that I have broken the seal and begun this page again I will do my best to write as often as possible, sometimes it may be one handed haiku's, sometimes more. Let's just treat this blog as a Forest Gump quote 'It's like a box of chocolates- you never know what your gonna get!"