American Girl

I'm practicing my short story fiction writing. Here is a little something/something I just wrote, Enjoy!

She knew she was leaving that town. No matter how much she loved it. With it’s sleepy seaside charm, filled with the quaint everyday people who loved her unconditionally, even though she was so very different from them, the very fact they would gossip about in the bank or the grocery store, right after seeing her walk by.

She knew she was leaving the day she met him. With his smoldering eyes that followed her as she shook her pom-poms for the pep rally, cheering as loud as her booming voice could, which was actually quite loud, as she was constantly being told to lower it by her teachers. No matter how much she loved the idea of him, it would never work out. He was the all-star quarterback and she was the head cheerleader for god sakes, they were crowned homecoming king and queen they were so perfect together. With his tall blond good looks and her mysteriously dark beauty, they radiated sex and youth and talent, everything that the small town hailed as royalty.

She had to leave. It was the life that she knew would be comfortable, the life her family wanted for her. He was good for her, they had said. He was steady. Her father had breathed a sigh of relief knowing that his eccentric daughter, with all of her wild fantasies, would be safe and taken care of. They knew he would go to State and she would too, just to be near him. The young lovers would become engaged in their third year after he accepted the football draft, sealing his deal with the majors. They would marry at a lovely outdoor ceremony on the beach with the entire town as guests and then move, wherever he was going, and she would be pregnant with their first child within the year.

It sounded oh so wonderful and every time he would talk excitedly to her about it, as they lay entwined in each other’s arms in the back seat of his mother’s Corolla, she would smile at him dreamily and in her mind she would pack another item in her suitcase.

As they neared graduation she began to distance herself from him. Her heart physically hurt when she told him that she couldn’t go out that night, or when he passed her a note in the hall, holding his hand out for hers only to come up empty, and especially when she missed his acceptance speech of athlete of the year at the awards assembly. He knew then, she really was leaving.

She had told him many times of her dreams, over the span of their three carefree years together. He would smile and pat her hand, or wink at her as she drove, singing at the top of her lungs, harmonizing perfectly with Tom Petty as he sung his ‘American Girl’. He had even covered her mouth once in jest. That was when she knew, he would never understand her. Never understand that she had a dream too and that her dream wasn’t just… Him.

Everyone thought she was crazy. How could she break up with him that day in their cap and gowns? They were the golden couple. There were rules. They would only leave town for him to be a big professional athlete and her, a wife and mother, and they would surely return years later after he retired from professional football to become the high school coach. That was the way it was supposed to be. They had counted on that story.

Sure, she was a pretty girl, everyone knew that, she had a captivating smile and a quirky way of dressing. What was it she wanted to be? An actress? A model? A singer? It didn’t matter. They all wished her luck as she drove away, then began talking amongst themselves about what a shame it was, and she really thought she was something didn’t she? Well good riddance to her. The big city was a scary place and for her to give up all of this perfection for a silly dream, well, she would learn the hard way wouldn’t she?

The music blared within the shiny red Volkswagen Beatle as the last light turned green and she drove out of that tiny New England town. She saw his mother’s car parked at the last parking lot to ‘their’ beach, with him leaning, arms folded, against it, his smoldering eyes watching and she slowed down to wave as the tears streamed down her smiling face. He waved back as she drove away, and he knew she was turning up her radio again, he knew that she was singing. He would hear her voice forever in his mind, and every time Tom Petty would sing he would close his eyes and remember her... His ‘American Girl’. His ‘American Girl’. 

~by: Tommie Vaughn

Insomnia strikes again

I'm nearing the end. This whole cooking a child within your womb process is (thankfully) coming to a close. At 37 weeks I am considered full term and can safely have the baby at any moment. That's when it seems every side effect of pregnancy will rear its ugly head.

Swollen feet? Like sausages. I stare at them in disbelief, like they belong to someone else, an alien appendage that attached itself to my slender long legs. They actually jiggle when I walk, feeling like I am carrying bags of water on the tops of my feet. It's totally gross to me but for some reason my husband thinks its hilarious. He's lucky I don't ask him to rub them, he would change his mind real quick.

Bad Circulation? My hands are asleep right now as I try to type. My fingers tingle so badly it's painful and I must take a break every minute or so to shake out my hands so I can continue. It's more annoying than anything else and it only seems to happen at night, when I'm trying to sleep. Which brings me to Insomnia...

I am an insomnia professional. It doesn't even bother me anymore and I'm quite good at it after all these years. It began when I had my son three years ago and it is my nighttime bedmate daily. I consider an hour of insomnia a full nights sleep, while my regular seems to be somewhere between two to three hours of 'up time'. Studies say its a natural way for women to prepare themselves for childbirth and the sleepless nights of raising an infant. True, true. But what about when your child begins to sleep through the night and there you are, still awake while the snores of REM sleep have hit your husband and child over the head? 

Sometimes I just lay there and listen, thinking of my day, what I did, what needs to be done tomorrow. Sometimes I toss and turn, thinking that the ideal position will find me and sleep will immediately take over my body. Other times I just get up, knowing there is no rest coming for an hour or two so I might as well get some writing or editing done. I dabble on Facebook or Twitter, scroll through Instagram, catching up on my social media. I send emails or play with different photos I took that day in Snapseed. I stretch, look for raccoons or skunks that visit our backyard nightly, watching with delight when I do catch them passing through on the way to one of our fruit trees. 

And then, as the sun rises,  I waddle back to bed, sometimes getting a whole hour or two of solid sleep before the phone starts buzzing and its time for another day. 

It's that time now being 5:55am, and if I'm quick, I can get my active mind, my swollen feet and tingly fingers to settle down. Sleep is coming, so I'd better go. Wish me luck that I pop soon, I can handle losing my mind, I just really need my body back.

It's me!

Photo by Dara Blumenhein 

Confessions of a Pregnant Vegetarian

Well, more like a Pescetarian. But still... I have a confession.

I am anemic. I'm not just anemic, I am extremely anemic, caused by a severe iron deficiency. So much so, that in my third term of pregnancy, my doctors have sat me down and spilled the beans, so to speak, that my leafy green diet of yes, beans, and other yummy veggie products, are just not cutting it. That I am putting myself at risk, say if hemorrhaging should happen during birth, which it can easily happen, you know, the doctor said... the kind of thing that birthing mothers died from in the olden days.

Within my mind I begin to see and hear 'Live's song Lightning Crashes and it seems to follow me out of the doctors office, loaded with all the other information my caring doctor had bestowed on me. Basically, she told me the reason I have been craving red meat for the entire span of this pregnancy was because that sweet little girl inside me has taken all the iron she needs and has left me with nothing. That when you become pregnant your body creates 20-30 percent more blood and so you need extra iron and other vitamins to create hemoglobin. Hemoglobin is the protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen to other cells in your body. Sounds normal right?

So why am I so far off, and at a higher risk? Well let's see...where do you get iron from? You get iron from green leafy veggies, red meat, beans, eggs, fortified cereals, and peanuts. Hmmm... so my diet is a bit lopsided when it comes to iron. And all this time I thought that as long as I took my prenatal pills, that this would not be an issue. It wasn't with my son, so I figured it wouldn't be with my daughter.

I am wrong. In the last few weeks I have experienced dizzy spells, fatigue, and general lack of hutzpa, which is very unlike me. Yes I have been pushing myself a bit too much and I know that, but I always push myself so that is really nothing new.

Therein lies my confession. My doctor suggested that I either go out and eat a burger (or some form of red meat for the remainder of my pregnacy) or else I am putting my whole life at risk. My whole life being... my family, my son, my unborn child, my husband, my creativity, career, all of it doing without me on this earth should something go bloody south.

You know what? I ate a fucking burger. It didn't kill me. And you know what else? I'm going to eat some home made meatloaf that one of my dearest friends cooked for me. (after she lovingly called me a selfish fool when I told her what the doctor said)

Because, I realized something as I stared into my almost three year old's beautiful blue eyes last night. I'm not leaving him motherless because I do not believe in the inhumane treatment of animals for mass consumption. Period. I have been a proud vegetarian for over six years now. I can always return to my plight after my daughter is born. But I have to be around to do so.

Much love and meat, 
Tommie Vaughn

I'm back

Or at least I will try to be. I have finished my second novel and shipped it off to my Editor and Publisher, so that being said you would think I have a bit more time on my hands. Well... I'm also about to give birth to my second child, so we will see how much free time I really have in a month when I am juggling two children, approving edits, and beginning to send out Advanced Reading Copies of my next book.

But I will try, and that's the best I can do for now.

Smile ;)

2012

Goodbye 2012. I'm really glad the world did not end this year because I still have lots to do and couldn't make that December 21st deadline.

When I begin to recall the year, at first I cannot escape the last few months. The affects still have a hold of me. The holidays have a way of doing that to me. But if I allow myself to move past all the tinsel and wrapping paper, past the horrific shootings at Sandy Hook that seem to haunt me daily, past the election craziness, and the pumpkins and skeletons of Halloween... I begin to remember the past year in it's entirety.

My year began with creativity. As an author I had to focus on editing my book, gaining reviewers, and shooting a video teaser for the novel that would be published in April of 2012. As a musician it was all about recording an album, making a music video and the release of the best album I have ever been a part of, 'The Lovers' by Wall of Tom was released in May of 2012.

Then came lots of promotions, interviews, and PR surrounding 'This Rock in My Heart' release and I happily did my first book signing in Los Angeles. That seemed to take up most of my time in the early summer, and now that I am working on my second novel, 'This Roll in My Soul', and it will take up most of my creative time till it's release in the fall of 2013.

As a Mommy I had a spectacular year with my son, and watching him grow gives me so much joy daily. I love to review the past year in photos just to see all the wonderful changes that he has gone through. As a family we did a lot of traveling to our favorite getaway Santa Ynez, during the summer and fall. We even fancied the idea of moving there, but it seems not to be the path we are on at the moment since Los Angeles was not quite done with us yet.

We lost our beloved kitty in November and the healing is still happening every day. He watches over us and we feel him everywhere, we missed him greatly over the holidays but somehow I believe he is with us, if only in our hearts.

Looking to 2013 I see a lot of exciting things happening, a few are cooking at this moment and I cannot wait to share the news as soon as I can. I have a lot of work to do, but I am going to create some time for learning as well. I do have goals, very concrete goals, some with deadlines, some just for my own well being. One is that I really want to take my yoga practice to the next level, and look forward to deepening my practice, giving it more time in my busy schedule. Of course I want to complete my second book, but I still want to focus on getting the word out with creative PR on my first book. I want to continue with my 'Readers of the Rock' campaign, and I've got a few doozies up my sleeve for the new year. Music wise, I would love love to play some shows and get my butt back up on stage before I forget how to do what I love to do.

I am so thankful for my beautiful family, my husband who I get to laugh with and love every day, for my son who lights up my world like the brightest star on top of my Christmas tree. I am so thankful for my Father and Mother who are still alive and kicking ass, my ass when needed, but your love is always constant, and your laughter fills my soul. My sister who inspires me with her strength and passion for living, her four gorgeous children- my niece and three nephews, my first loves, who are more like adults now than kids, but I enjoy all their ups and downs like they were my own. My step Mother who always lends a loving ear, more like my friend than parent, and to my second family, on my husbands side who are the most loving and supportive second family anyone could ever ask for. Lastly I am so truly grateful for my tribe. My beautiful friends whom I cherish deeply, through all my connections in life I have been so fortunate to come across some incredible souls... and even if we don't get to be together on a daily basis, you all are with me in my heart, and that is why it beats so strongly. I am truly blessed.

So here is to 2013, I'm gonna do my damnedest to make it one hell of a goody, and I hope you will do the same thing. Chase your dreams, where ever they will take you. Follow the light of happiness for it will lead you to places of true joy. And never give up, no matter what the odds. Life is about living it to your fullest potential. Love to your deepest capacity, and never forget to tell those around you that you love them. Our moments are precious, Cherish every one.  Happy New Year Everyone!!